I’m Stuck in a Revolving Door and I’m Not Sure That I Want Out.

Have you ever done something that you know you’re going to later regret? Or go looking for things you know is going to hurt you as soon as you find it? 

I set myself up for failure all of the time, especially when it comes to men. It’s like a drug I can’t stop taking, I’m addicted to self sabotage, I can’t stop it. I know that I need to but it hurts so good. I never understood the meaning of that phrase until now. I know it’ll hurt me to find these things out but it’ll hurt more not knowing at all. 

I stalk almost every guy I’ve ever been involved with, on social media; that’s a big reason why I decided to take a break from social media in the first place. It’s all toxic, I see pictures of them (one in specific) with different women all the time on snapchat and it kills me softly. He’s over there living his life and I’m over here studying his selfie with another woman down to the T and I sit there looking like:

  

By the way this guy is the same guy I lost my virginity to; I hate to admit it but as awful as he was, I still miss him. I’ve been with two other guys since being with him and I still can’t seem to get over him! I know rebounds have an extremely low success rate but I had to try something… I just need to get myself together again and move on.

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