More Depressing Shit

 You ever feel like you’re being ignored? I feel like that everyday. Friends, family, strangers. I could literally be standing there and no one would notice me. I guess that could be percieved as a good thing but honestly it just sucks. I try to drop hints about how I feel to my family and even to my friends but I suck at expressing myself and for some reason I expect them to just know. Like if we’re really that close they should know when something’s up with me right? WRONG. I hide everything and keep it buried so deep that I even have myself convinced that I’m okay. So I get it, people can’t read my mind and as the expression goes “a closed mouth doesn’t get fed” but how can I speak up when I have no voice? And I can’t get mad at any one but myself because I brought it upon myself. Ha.. I just realized how pathetic I am. 

 By the way I’m at my friend’s house and she’s “cleaning” through her closet and going down memory lane. Im just laying back on her bed typing this and somehow I’m managing to keep a playful conversation. Is that normal? Typing about depressing mental state while casually talking to someone I consider to be my best friend and laughing and smiling. I feel like I live a double life…

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